- The Ol’ Mouse-In-The-Soup Gag
Dorothy is the fake name that we’ll assign to the anti-hero of our first story. Dorothy went to dinner at a Cracker Barrel in Virginia one night and ordered a large meal, which included soup. Then, when nobody was looking, she pulled a dead mouse out of her pocket and plopped it into her soup.
When her server returned, she acted pretty much the way you’d expect somebody to act if they discovered a dead rodent in their dinner. She tried to get $500,000 from this Cracker Barrel as an insurance settlement. Unfortunately, it was later discovered that the mouse neither had soup in its lungs nor had even been cooked. It’s a mystery as to where Dorothy procured this mouse, but it didn’t really matter in the end. She went to jail.
- The Ol’ Give-Your-Students-A’s-To-Torch-Your-Car Gag
Our story begins with a high school chemistry teacher in Houston, Texas. We’ll call her Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith had recently purchased a new car, but quickly remembered that teaching a grossly underpaid profession. She was having trouble making her car payments, so she decided to commit insurance fraud.
She offered passing grades to two of her less academically inclined students if they would be willing to torch her car. The students readily agreed, and just like that, the deed was done. Unfortunately, Mrs. Smith was found out. She was fired from her job and sent to jail for 3 months.
- The Ol’ Burn-Your-House-Down-With-Your-Mom-Inside Gag
To his colleagues and subordinates, Leon Guthrie’s life looked pretty great. (Again, we’re using a fake name). He was a wealthy grain futures executive working in a Chicago-based firm, but his lavish lifestyle was catching up with him. He was getting desperate, but then he got an idea.
Leon planned to burn his house down to collect the nearly $800,000 insurance policy, but he needed to make it look unintentional. He thought for a while, and then he had an idea. He was going to make it look like a suicide–his mother’s suicide. He poured gasoline all over the basement, led his elderly mother down there, and then tossed a match down after her.
Needless to say, Leon is in prison for life.
- The Pretend-To-Drown-In-A-Canoe-And-Then-Move-To-Panama Gag
Our story focused on one Mr. Bill Goldblum (fake name), and British national who faked his own death in a staged canoeing accident. Prior to his (fake) death, Bill had purchased a hefty life insurance policy for himself and put it in his wife’s name.
His wife went through a period of (fake) mourning and then moved to Panama. Her friends probably thought of this as a positive step in her grieving process. Little did they know that she and her husband Bill (who was still among the living) had just gotten away with massive insurance fraud and were enjoying a life of tropical luxury.
Things were going pretty well for the Goldblums…until Panama’s visa requirements changed. They passed new regulations requiring a high standard of verification for the identification of expatriates, and the Goldblums were forced to leave, returning to England.
When Bill got home, people were pretty surprised to see him. He claimed that he had amnesia, but it didn’t work. Both of the Goldblums were booked a 1-way ticket to the slammer.
- The Ol’ Dig-Up-A-Dead-Body-Dress-It-In-Your-Clothes-Put-It-In-Your-Trunk-Torch-Your-Car-And-Push-It-Off-A-Cliff Gag
Total classic.
This story focuses on a husband and wife that had fallen on hard times. We’ll call them Sonny & Cher. And to make matters worse, Sonny was in trouble with the law. He had been on the run for a quite a while when the two of them hatched their evil plan.
The plan was to fake Sonny’s death and then use the life insurance money to start a new life! It was a solid plan in theory, but things didn’t quite go according to plan…
Step 1 of their plan was to dig up the body of an old woman. Steps 2 through 4 were to dress this old woman’s body up in Sonny’s clothes, put in the trunk of their car, set the car on fire, and then push the car off a cliff with this woman inside. Apparently, Sonny and Cher meant business!
Shortly afterwards, Sonny re-emerged to begin his new life! He dyed his hair, grew a mustache, and was introduced as “Cher’s new boyfriend.” Unfortunately, the insurance company demanded a DNA test to prove the burned body in the trunk of the car was, indeed, Sonny, aaaaaaaand…. Long story short, they both went to jail.
